parental deficiencies

I cleaned and defrosted both of my freezers yesterday enlisting the help of two of my children. One of the freezers is a big chest freezer that was coated in frost. It was THICK.

I obviously do not do this often enough because I had to define defrost to my youngest child (an 8-year-old). His response was, "You mean that ice isn't SUPPOSED to be there?"

Other areas in which I'm deficient:

1) Feeding my children peas as a vegetable. Other than the frozen peas that I thaw and throw into salads, snow peas eaten fresh (pod and all), or the peas that we shell and eat straight from our garden, I'm not sure my children would recognize a pea. They certainly would not recognize a pile of hot ones served next to the mashed potatoes for instance.

2) Peanut butter sandwiches. It took me 7 years of my oldest child's life to even think of serving him a peanut butter sandwich. I don't like them so it didn't occur to me to make one for him. Maybe that explains why 4 of my 5 children will basically eat bread with peanut butter on it (hold the jelly). Have I damaged my children by not serving them one of childhood's basic food groups?

3) Spring cleaning. Again, my children probably don't know the meaning of the word. I clean when the urge hits (or when closet shelves are in danger of collapse or I'm afraid of the health department condemning something) and not according to what season it is.

4) Fear-of-being-late phobia. I get positively demented if I'm going to be late. My children may someday need excessive counseling to deal with this phobia that is being passed on to them.