competition

I've been accused of being competitive and maybe I am, but I learned one thing on my solo commune with nature (hike) -- I am the MOST competitive with myself.

My hike led me to the bottom of a waterfall. After an hour or so of meditation, pondering, and note-making I decided to hike to the top of the falls. The trail looked steep and challenging and actually proved to be even more challenging than it appeared -- lots of loose dirt and rocks. I struggled up using whatever hand-holds, foot-holds, or toe-holds that I could find. It really was a mighty struggle but I did not want to give up. There was no one around to see my failure. There was not even one living soul who knew what I was attempting so I wouldn't even have had to admit to failure if questioned. Still I could NOT give up though I realized I was in a pretty precarious situation -- alone and on a steep, slippery trail with few footholds.

It was then that I realized I compete far more against myself and my goals than against others. I set pretty high standards for myself and I'm constantly trying to "raise the bar". My goal is to always challenge myself to do more or be better or improve in some way.

Strangely, it was this realization that allowed me to give up my quest to make it to the top and start trying to find a way down. (Good thing too since going down proved even more difficultand I've got the scraped elbows, scraped hands, and hole in the seat of my pants to prove it.)

I'm not sure competition is always a bad thing and I definitely don't think it's bad when it's directed against yourself.

--scrappinsoccermama is relieved she had a sweatshirt to tie around her waist to hide the hole in her pants for the hike back home.