a visit from the cops

In order to ensure I am better prepared the next time the cops bring Alec home at 1 am (after finding him sitting in the middle of the road about half a mile away eating a sack lunch he'd fixed for himself), I've decided to have a ready supply of answers.

Cops: We found your son sitting in the middle of the road...

Me:
the bald-faced lie: "I can't believe it! He's never done anything like this EVER before."

the emotional response: burst into uncontrollable sobs

the angry response: "You'd better keep him for the night in order to prevent his untimely death (and to save you the time and paperwork of investigating his murder)."

the practical response: " Ummm....Can I have a spare pair of handcuffs so I can chain him to the bed to prevent future midnight escapades?"


Cops: Is this normal? Has he done this before?

Me:
the sarcastic response: "I don't know. I am usually sleeping at this time of night."

the ultra-sarcastic response: "Have you looked at this kid? Do you actually believe life with Alec has ever been normal?"


And thank goodness it's not! We love Alec to pieces. He keeps life an adventure and he constantly makes me grateful for the guardian angels that I believe keep a very close eye on him ALL the time!